Backwards Reflections: Creativity and Mental Illness

Out of all of my niche interests, slam poetry is probably the least surprising. My all-time favorite is one you've likely seen circulating Facebook at some point within the last few years: "Joey" by Neil Hilborn.

"I think that the genes for being an artist and mentally ill aren't just related, they are the same gene, but try telling that to a bill collector," he says.

I used to believe this was true. I used to believe suffering was the only way I could create good art. I used to believe it because every artist I looked up to was citing self-destruction as a tool in their liner notes.

I don't believe it anymore.

Hilborn is right to suggest there are similarities between being an artist and having a mental illness. As someone who is intimately familiar with both, sometimes it's difficult to separate where one ends and the other begins.

Creativity and mental illness are both deviations from "normal." I hate using that word but I think it's the best one to get my point across here. (Just know I'm treading lightly and using scare-quotes in my head.) Normal, or traditional, thought patterns tend to be linear and relatively muted when compared to creative thoughts or symptoms of mental illness. It's easy to lump creativity and mental illness together because their accompanying thought patterns are disjointed, seemingly unconnected, and sometimes jarring.

The causes are what differentiate creativity from mental illness and it is when they are overlooked that the line between the two is blurred.

Creativity is purposeful; mental illness is not.

For example, more often than not the productivity and euphoria that accompany mania is misconstrued as creativity (and vice versa). With creativity, the artist is electing to work through their deviated thinking in order to produce something and the end product leaves them with a sense of euphoria. Mania, a symptom of bipolar disorder, is anything but a choice.

Suffering is intrinsic to mental illness. The symptoms disrupt everyday life and as much as I sometimes bitch about being an artist, I always have the option to walk away. People with mental illnesses do not and this is why I think it's insensitive and misinformed to lump the two together the way we do.

We've been force-fed the idea that in order to make something beautiful, we must be broken. It's a compelling story, a narrative that's easy to buy into, however, it's detrimental to the way we talk about artists and mental illness. We write suffering off as part of the creative process when it has no business being there in the first place.

I'm not saying creation isn't therapeutic. It is. It's saved more lives than we could imagine. That being said, I no longer believe you have to destroy yourself in order to make something good.

My best art came from the time when my mental health was at its peak. At my lowest, you couldn't pay me to make anything, not even an outline. My deviated thinking caused by mental illness was entirely different from my deviated thinking caused by creativity, but both were (and are) entirely different from normal thought patterns. Over time, I learned to differentiate between the three, making it easier for me to take action based on what I'm experiencing.

Is there a link between creativity and mental illness? Maybe. I'm not a scientist but I can count and statistically speaking, there are a high number of artists who've experienced some sort of mental illness. Do I know what that means? I haven't got a clue.

I do, however, know that creativity and mental illness are not the same. Hilborn, as much as I love his work, was wrong in saying they are the same gene.

Maybe it's more accurate to say they're a reflection of each other. They look the same at a glance but study the face in the mirror a little longer and you realize everything's slightly off, backwards even. Still, they're recognizable and that's the important part.

What do you think causes society to blur the line between art and mental illness? Do you think there's a connection? Totally check out Hilborn's work on YouTube and thanks for reading! Don't forget to let me know what you think in the comments below! // bcp